Missing You

Days such as this

It’s you I miss

The simplicity of you

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I'm now faced with the complexities of who

a perfect stranger

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That’s attached by a thread

Of hope embedded in my head

That this will head to magnificence

And she will hold significance

Signified by emotions

Am I foolish to think such

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To embrace the sadness of the truth is a bit much

Falsely convinced by a touch of lust

to call a cactus a rose

to touch and realize hurt

but the fact of being alone would be worse....

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In Search of pt2

Must I comb the globe

Or is she under my nose

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I reach into the world and pull back nothing

Swearing this time would be different

It all felt right from a distance

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I feel as though I seek something that is nonexistent

I ponder in wonder

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And all the while I wonder

Will my roaming eyes ever gaze upon her?

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On God knows when my hearts very desire will be granted

I grab hope it’s  in my grasp she has landed

I pull back to see that once again I am empty handed

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In Search of pt:1

I am searching for something

Looking for someone

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A who with substance

And a mind that is depths deep

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An adoring heart that is worth a leap

A person who shall be worthy of me

And it shall be her who graces me

With the company of she

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Her passive voice will calm the chaos

In which I am submerged in

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I will rise to highs unheard of

From the taste of her love

Deeper Than...

We lit up the sky all I knew was fireworks. We sparkle then we fade that is how a fire, works. Warm for time and the cold darkness crept in.

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The black night sky on the 5th of July we knew then didn’t we? I fill the chill of it and the real of it.

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We part ways like the red sea never to see the ocean floor just separate and ignore all of the things that we could discover.

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We could only see our reflections as we stayed on the shallow ends. Where the connection was just never deep enough.

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Were you allure by the Maidus hoping to shine you up to be the object of affections and not this drowning lust?

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I wonder do angels like you pray enough, because you are looking like prey and such. 

Looking Back (For A Second)

Tell me what it is you seek, all that you want me to be. Who do you see me as, am I your dream guy? I could be couldn’t I?  This could be something, or maybe it’s just nothing all.

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It was the way you said things, the way you could kill dreams. That had me thinking this was the wrong thing. I wanted you to empower my choices echo my voices and cheer me on

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 You loved to scream my failures but layup and tell me how much you cared for me, but other than physically you were absent from me.

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All I wanted was all can’t have, only one to split it with my other half, I am alone on this path and I can focus on who I missing I catch myself reminiscing.

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I only wish this would have things would have panned out differently. I wonder if you read what I write sometimes do I ever cross you mind; do you ever wish you were still mine?

I know it wasn’t perfect but it could have been worth it if you had patience with me. 

Never Sweat It

As the temperatures start to rise I feel like I have, to keep the cool about myself, I can’t let them see me sweat not even for a second.

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I have to keep my composure and pretend to have my nose up I can’t allow the wrong people to get closer. The temperature is rising but I have nothing for you but a cold shoulder.

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I have never felt so not in control but well composed. The structure of my tailored garments are keeping me whole. A cool I can’t lose but a story to be told. I was who I have always been and you went missing on me to go explore what a life without me would be.

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Will we cross paths again? Only the lord knows. I must say we fell so far away from a blissful place. I would backtrack if I could but it’s not in my character but as hard as I try I can look past you.     

Long Live The Urbane Savant

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I know I took a rather long vacation, I had to do some soul searching and live some life, as you may or may not have seen on my Instagram. The Pursuit has not stopped and it has been a rather intense journey with some insanely unbelievable stories. But I have collectively decided to return with a new found voice.

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This voice is me, in the mind in the moment truths that propel my endeavors, sometimes it is difficult to know what I'm thinking when I am captured in photos. I want you to know me better I have felt for the longest time that I have been just going through the motions and lacking emotion and revealing my true self.

 

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I want you to know that I am human, and a man with needs and tendencies, like any other. I have partied, broken hearts had mine broken. It’s been a hell of a roller coaster and I want you to know my lows and experience my highs.

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It's not just clothing, this is life all dressed up and out of control, my vices, mistakes and all of that in between. So if you think this is a blog like anything else out there you are sadly mistaken and encourage you to open your mind. 

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